


Never Lose This

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Christmas, M/M, POV First Person, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 14:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12234600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Robert's perspective after Aaron and Robert reunite as he thinks about all the things he could have lost for good. (Baby doesn't come up here.)





	Never Lose This

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t often use the first person, so we’ll see if this works. Imagining this right after they get back together.

I turn my head on my pillow and look to my right, seeing the curve of Aaron’s neck, the light sheen of sweat across his shoulders. He’s relaxed, calm, but even though he’s on his side away from me I know he isn’t asleep. Aaron usually crashes after sex, hard. But he isn’t asleep, I can tell. His breathing isn’t as even or as deep. He might have his eyes closed, but he can’t lie like this, not to me. Though if he wants to pretend sleep, it’s fine by me. One thing I do know is he’s relaxed.

I can’t turn my mind off. So much has happened over the last year, so much stuff that was bad or terrible, especially for our relationship. So the fact that I’m currently in Aaron’s bed after a desperate, needy sex session is a surprise, to me more than anyone else. I’ve missed him so much, I’ve missed his laugh, I’ve missed having his presence in his life because he makes things better, and yeah, I’ve missed his body too. We fit together physically so beautifully and I can still feel the echoes of Aaron’s fingerprints on my skin. The way he touches me, I feel special. It’s not just sex, not between us. And I thought I’d lost it through my sheer stupidity. 

Even if we don’t manage to make it work, even then I can hold on to tonight, keep it special. Because the last time I was with Aaron? I didn’t know it was the last time. I thought there’d be thousands more, and I screwed up. So this time, even if he kicks me out in the morning, this time I’m treasuring every single touch. I’m remembering the roughness of his calloused hands across my skin, he’s clearly not been wearing gloves at the scrap yard lately. I need to remember the way he gasped when I touched him, the way he whimpered when he was too sensitive but didn’t want me to stop anyway. I’m committing to memory the way he kissed me, the way he gave himself completely to me. I’m not naïve enough to think I’ll get forever, not this time. I don’t get lucky. Or more accurately, I think I’ve got everything I want, then I mess it up. Because none of the past year is Aaron’s fault. Besides getting a little too handy with his fists, but I refuse to think of that now. It's gone, it's over, we're both here.

Aaron’s hair is curled, I love running my fingers through it. Aaron’s breathing catches and I wonder if he’s slipping into sleep. But he isn’t, he just heard it before I did. The door downstairs opens and closes quietly, and even if Aaron had been successfully faking sleep from me, that does it. His body stiffens as they listen to the light footsteps which is most likely Liv. Either that or a very light-footed axe murderer, which right now is not that much of a threat to me. At least I’d die happy. Though the tiny squeak of Liv’s bedroom door is a little bit of a relief anyway. Aaron sighs heavily, but it’s a conversation for the morning, we both know that. It is the right side of midnight, so there is that going for her.

Aaron rolls over and looks at me. His eyes are bright, even in the dull glow from the moon outside, from the curtains neither of us bothered to close. I move my hand, my palm covering his cheek feeling the rasp of his stubble, and his lips twitch into a tiny smile. I smile back, seeing Aaron happy matters a lot to me.

“You okay?” I ask, my voice a little hoarse. Aaron nods but otherwise doesn’t speak. His hand comes around my back, fingertips on the base of my spine. It’s comforting, and it feels safe. He pulls me close and kisses me, so softly and tenderly. I feel wanted, like here is exactly where I should be. “Can you sleep?” Aaron makes a move that would be a shrug if he were standing up. He tucks his head into my neck and I let him, our bodies starting to become tangled in the search for comfort. Under the thick duvet, his body so close to me is making me sweat and get a little uncomfortable, too hot. Apart from his feet, Aaron runs warm. But there is no way in this world I’m pushing him away. If Aaron wants to get comfort from me, it’s too special for me to lose. He can’t see my face, but I smile anyway, feeling his breathing against my skin, his body relaxing into sleep. It’s incredible, and I will never risk losing this again.


End file.
